#271 from Innovative
Leader Volume 6, Number 4
Others to Follow Your Way of Thinking
Hogan, a clinical hypnotherapist, is a nationally certified
trainer of sales, persuasion,
neurolinguistic programming and hypnosis. He is the author of The
Psychology of Persuasion, and, the 10 hour- Persuasion
Mastery Video Course. These and other related programs can be
obtained from Network 3000, toll free, at 1-888-707-1896. Or,
write for more information at 1565 Cliff Rd. #3-137, Eagan, MN,
On occasion, you
probably have found the fruit of your efforts slowed or even
stifled because of the
inability of others to see the value of your work.
Further, when it comes to promoting your ideas to
subordinates, or those higher up the corporate ladder, it’s
often difficult to persuade them to your way of thinking.
Assuming your work is valuable, you deserve to have action
taken on your ideas.
The purpose of
this article is to show you specifically how to persuade others to
your way of thinking. You’ll discover how to precisely design
The first key to
persuading others to your way of thinking is to utilize outcome
based thinking, which means that you:
Decide specifically what the desired outcome is at the beginning
do you want out of the process?
Predict what the other person wants, or will want.
Determine what is the least you will accept.
Predict what possible problems may come up.
Determine, in advance, how to deal with each problem, and how you
can turn that
specific problem into a benefit for the other person or people.
Decide how you will bring the process to a conclusion.
By following this
model you’ll be able to take control, however subtly, of most
situations you encounter. Having
a plan gives you an edge in preparation.
Being prepared for objections allows you to easily and
swiftly deal with them as if they were minor challenges and not
major stumbling blocks.
literally hundreds of effective techniques for influencing others.
Here we’ll deal with just a few.
Try to learn the values of the other person or people
you’re going to influence.
specifically would you have to know for you to want to go ahead
is most important for you in deciding to move forward?"
concerns do you have that would prevent you from moving
Once you discover
the values of the person or people that will be making a decision
on your suggestions, you know precisely what criteria need to be
met in order for you to move ahead.
This is not the
time to ask a leading question like, "If I can make sure the
project is profitable, would you go ahead with it?"
There are likely numerous criteria, in addition to
profitability, that you may not have considered that will be key
to the decision-making process.
Be patient. Once
discovering the criteria, you can later utilize the data.
experience have proven that certain words, when utilized properly,
work like a skeleton key in opening the mind to suggestion.
We’ll discuss five such words.
A person’s name is a key attention-getter.
Never over-use another person’s name, but do refer to
people by their name for maximum suggestibility.
When you were a baby you heard your name over and over
again. You linked it
with getting attention, and you very much liked hearing your name
spoken gently to you. Many salespeople try to use Mr. or Mrs. and
the persons last name. This is rarely effective, as you can attest to from your own
experience with salespeople who have failed to sell you their
product while dis-ingenuinely using your name.
It’s a fact, that judicious use of the other person’s
name, creates a powerful associative link to fondness and positive
Please and Thank You.
We were taught, since the time we first spoke, that we will
get something if we say “please,” and, once we have it, we
must say “thank you.” Therefore,
when these terms are used in communication, they carry a great
deal of impact. A few
examples of the use of these powerful words:
you for seeing me today."
give this proposal every consideration, John."
you for coming to us. I
believe you’ll find our staff remarkably service
ask for any help you need."
help out in any way you can."
let me help you isolate the financial challenges in the project so
come to a mutually beneficial proposal."
When you were young, you were told over and over,
"Because I said so." These words carried authoritative
weight. As adults, a
more refined "Because" carries just as much
authoritative weight. Ellen
Langer, a social psychologist, performed a fascinating experiment.
She asked a favor of people waiting in line to use the library’s
copy machine. When she asked, "Excuse me, I have five pages.
May I use the machine, because I’m in a rush?" 94% let her
move ahead in line!
When the request
was phrased without those last five words, only 60% let her move
ahead in line. Most
fascinating of all, however, was that when she asked, "Excuse
me, I have five pages. May I use the machine because I have to
make some copies?" 93%
let her move ahead in line with no reason other than
The worlds greatest hypnotists have discovered yet another truly
powerful word. When used gently, at the end of a sentence or
question, the word now proves to be yet another key to
was used as a command when we were young.
It was almost used with a threatening tone of voice and was
very motivating, albeit from a negative viewpoint.
Like the other words we’ve discussed, it has remained in
our unconscious mind as a trigger to take action...now.
To use the word with the intonation that was used by our
parents creates a sense of rebellion. However, to say the word with a soft and gentle voice, even
with a question mark after it, triggers an almost identical
response that will amaze you with its effectiveness.
Hypnotic Language Patterns
For years it was
thought that the "hard sell" was the only way to really
increase sales. However, certain language seem to heighten
touch on a few.
We know that
people can’t make a picture of the word "don’t" in
their minds. More
specifically, a picture cannot be made of "don’t"
because it’s not a noun. Therefore we can use this word in
language patterns to influence others. Here are a few examples.
feel as though you have to go ahead with this proposal today.”
“Don’t look at me and smile.”
decide now. You can do it later if you’re uncomfortable.”
make up your mind too quickly.”
Go back to each
of these examples, delete the word "don’t," and you
will get the message the unconscious mind is getting.
The reason why so many children disobey is that they
frequently hear the word "don’t."
The brain skips over the word "don’t"
think of blue. Don’t think of President Clinton’s face.
"Don’t" is like a direct order to do
Might and Maybe Language Patterns-
use language patterns that are far too explosive or demanding of
the other person. This
is a common mistake. We
tend to give orders to our spouses, children, employees, etc.
We don’t like to take orders and resent them when we hear
them. Therefore, we
can use "Might and Maybe Language Patterns" to persuade
others in a far more gentle and effective manner.
might want to consider adding this program to our 1997 project
might want to take this project up now."
might notice that your feelings toward this project will change
you’ll go ahead
with the program after taking one night to consider
you haven’t considered how good this project is going to make
all of us look
at the end of the year at bonus time."
Now, go back and
delete the words "might" and "maybe."
Notice the statements often become commands when the
hypnotic bypass word is taken out.
of the Obvious Language Patterns.
When we give
credit to people for knowing something they really know nothing
about they generally hide their ignorance and agree with what
you’re stating. This is supposed to leave us with the belief that they
possess more knowledge than they do.
In each pattern below, you’ll notice how this works in
the persuasion process.
probably already know the problems we’ll have if we don’t get
on this now.”
“You probably know how this is going to increase our profits.
I’m simply going to
elaborate on three ways.”
“People can, you know, really make a name for themselves by
implementing this program.”
realize that you are making the right decision when you...”
or later you’ll know that this is the best design for the
you’ll know what’s right for this company.”
phrases "you probably already know," "People can,
you know," "realize," "sooner or later"
and "eventually," all imply the person will see the
obvious very shortly.
This of course,
is only one tip of the iceberg in being successful in the
persuasion process. Until then, practice these patterns and test
them in your daily work. The
more you practice, the more confidence you’ll gain when the
chips are down...and, you know, they are your