#396  from Innovative Leader Volume 8, Number 4          April 1999

Charisma: What Is It? What Will It Do for You?
by Tony Alessandra, Ph.D.

Dr. Alessandra has authored 13 books, recorded over 50 audio and video programs, and delivered over 2,000 keynote speeches.  This article has been adapted from Dr. Alessandra's book, Charisma:  Seven Keys to Developing the Magnetism that Leads to Success (Warner Books, New York, 1998).  For more information, call 1-800-222-4383 or visit his website at www.alessandra.com.

Charisma is easy to spot but hard to describe. Nailing down a definition is like trying to define America. And the effort is made more frustrating because we all tend to overuse the term, lavishing it indiscriminately on insolent athletes, glamorous film stars, and fanatic cultists, as well as on genuinely enchanting and inspirational personalities like, say, John F. Kennedy, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and Princess Diana. Here's my definition: Charisma is the ability to influence others positively by connecting with them physically, emotionally, and intellectually.

I'm convinced that, popular wisdom to the contrary, charisma is not in your genes--and it's not beyond your grasp. You already have charisma, but it's not configured the same way in you as it is in the person next to you.

Think of it this way: Each of our personalities consists, let's say, of a series of containers, like cups or glasses. If all the glasses were filled to the top, you'd be so charismatic people would think you were a god--and you'd probably think so, too. Some really, really gifted people may come close to this ideal. But, for most of us, some of the glasses are nearly empty, some brimming, yet others are partially filled to varying degrees. Together they constitute our charisma, or at least our potential charisma.

Still, I've wanted to be able to describe charisma more concretely. So I've thought a lot about it, done applied research and formed some opinions. I've also studied the literature, going back decades, and compared the conclusions of scholars with my own observations.

Though the results may not be strictly scientific, I've sought to reduce charisma to its bedrock. What I've come up with are seven qualities that I'm convinced are at its core.  Here's how I see those seven main components of charisma--or, the "glasses," if you will:

1)  Your silent messages. You make a statement about yourself even before you open your mouth. This is your "silent message." It's the way you carry yourself, physically, emotionally, and intellectually.

2)  Your ability to speak well. You may have a terrific idea, but who will know if you can't articulate it?

3)  Your listening skills. Rarely taught and infrequently practiced, listening is nonetheless a key to communicating and making others feel special in your presence.

4)  Your persuasiveness. This is your skill at motivating others to follow your lead or adopt your idea. No idea, however great, ever gets anywhere until it's adopted.

5)  Your time and territory smarts. How you honor or violate another person's personal space and time will affect the amount of tension or trust between you.

6)  Your adaptability. Building bridges to others is impossible without understanding how to treat others the way they would like to be treated.

7)  Your vision. What do you feel passionately about? What do you care really deeply about? Whatever your objective, you'll never influence anyone to change their ideas or take action if you don't feel strongly about it yourself.

You can apply these seven elements of charisma to your personal life, your job, or in any setting where the ability to influence others positively is beneficial. And the wonderful thing about charisma is that it makes you powerful without making others less so. That's because the kind of power I'm talking about is personal power, rather than position power, the kind of power that doesn't take power away from others, but gives you and them the power to achieve favorable outcomes.  The potential to be more charismatic is within you. And the payoff for doing so has never been higher.

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What’s Your Charisma Quotient?

For each pair of statements below, distribute three points between the two alternatives of A and B, depending on how characteristic the statement is of you.  Although some pairs of statements may seem equally true for you, assign more points to the alternative that represents your behavior most of the time.

Examples:

•   If A is very characteristic of you and B is very uncharacteristic, write "3" next to A and "0" next to B.

•   If A is more characteristic of you than B, write "2" next to A and "1" next to B.

•   If B is very characteristic of you and A is very uncharacteristic, write "3" next to B and "0" next to A.

Take your time, be utterly honest, and don't try to guess the "right" response.

1A___   I am able to discuss my accomplishments and my shortcomings honestly, as well as to give and receive compliments readily.

1B___   I sometimes get a bit defensive about criticism and, being essentially modest, I am also sometimes uncomfortable even with compliments.

2A___   People comment that, for my age, I look pretty good. And they often comment on my smile, too.

2B___   People rarely comment on my appearance or smile.

3A___   When I ask a person with less authority, i.e., a child, a housekeeper, an employee, a bank teller, or a grocery bagger, to do something, I almost always say "please" or am otherwise courteous to them.

3B___   When I ask such a person to do something, I expect him or her to do the job or fulfill the role without much coaxing, just as I would do if I were in their shoes.

4A___   When I make a presentation, I often become more aware of the audience than I am of myself.

4B___   When I make a presentation, I'm almost always intently focused on my words and my message rather than the audience.

5A___   I research my audience as well as my topic before giving a presentation.

5B___   I consider myself a good talker who can often "wing" the subject matter and quickly adapt to almost any audience.

6A___   I know the one main idea I want to present.

6B___   My speeches are full of ideas, many of equal importance.

7A___   I'm pretty good at concentrating on speakers' words and meaning.

7B___   I tend to argue with speakers mentally, plan my reply, or try to figure out where they're going with their remarks before they actually get there.

8A___   I make a determined effort not to judge people until I've heard all of what they have to say.

8B___   I'm a good judge of character and I can often get a good "read" on people before the conversation is over.

9A___   I avoid fidgeting, cracking knuckles, stretching, jingling keys, or other mannerisms while someone is talking.

9B___   I make the talker as comfortable as possible by trying to act naturally, which means adhering to my normal mannerisms.

10A___ I use a lot of metaphors, analogies, and anecdotes when I am trying to convince somebody of something.

10B___ I think people are persuaded by facts, not by my charm as a storyteller, so I tend to stick to logic and data when I'm trying to convince somebody.

11A___ I often repeat back to another person the gist of what they've just said so that I'm sure I understand the meaning.

11B__   Repeating back what's just been said seems unnecessary and time-consuming.

12A___ I make it a point to remember others' names and use them in conversation.

12B___ I can remember jokes, knots, recipes, and all manner of other minutiae, but I have trouble with names.

13A___ When I meet people in my office, I usually hold all calls, ignore E-mail, put paperwork aside, and devote my full attention to the visitor.

13B___ When I have visitors, especially routine ones, I often maximize my productivity by tending to some other easily handled matters at the same time.

14A___ If I'm late, I make it a point to explain why.

14B___ People are interested in results, not excuses. So I prefer just to get down to work.

15A___ If I visit another's office or even a cubicle, I don't walk in unannounced or uninvited.

15B___ If good working relationships are in place, there ought to be little concern about who's invited where.

16A___ I can listen to a radio talk show and strongly disagree with the host or a caller without getting upset or changing the station.

16B___ I get irritated at some of the wrongheadedness I hear on those shows and much prefer something more in line with my own values.

17A___ I frequently will step outside my comfort zone and take a risk--whether physical, social, moral, or financial.

17B___ I know myself pretty well, am comfortable with my likes and dislikes, and see little reason to take unnecessary chances.

18A___ If I meet a person who's fast-paced, say, compared to my more contemplative approach, I naturally speed up in order to try to bridge the gulf between us.

18B___ Faced with such a situation, I'd just continue to act as I always do and hope our approaches wouldn't become an obstacle.

19A___ I keep a written list of specific goals, which I update periodically.

19B___ I know what I'd like to accomplish, but I don't feel I need to write it down.

20A___ I think I'm pretty good at prioritizing my tasks.

20B___ I sometimes get overwhelmed by the sheer number of tasks I've outlined for myself.

21A___ I know what my strengths are, and I strive principally to build upon those.

21B___ Mainly, I work to reduce or eliminate my weaknesses.

Scoring

Silent Messages/Image

Add point totals for questions 1-3 under A: __________
Add point totals for questions 1-3 under B: __________

Speaking With Authority

Add point totals for questions 4-6 under A: __________
Add point totals for questions 4-6 under B: __________

Listening Attentively

Add point totals for questions 7-9 under A: __________
Add point totals for questions 7-9 under B: __________

Persuasiveness

Add point totals for questions 10-12 under A: __________
Add point totals for questions 10-12 under B: __________

Space and Time Usage

Add point totals for questions 13-15 under A: __________
Add point totals for questions 13-15 under B: __________

Adaptability

Add point totals for questions 16-18 under A: __________
Add point totals for questions 16-18 under B: __________

Vision

Add point totals for questions 19-21 under A: __________
Add point totals for questions 19-21 under B: __________

Now let's take a look at how you scored on each segment of charisma. If your A score is significantly greater than your B score, you are fairly strong in that aspect of charisma. The more lopsided your A score, the stronger your charisma is in that area. If your A score exceeds your B by a 2-to-1 margin, you are far better than most in this area.  Conversely, if your B score approximates your A score, you may have identified an improvement opportunity. If the B score is higher than your A, that's an indication that you need lots of work in that area.  (See web site for an expanded version of this quiz.)